My life seems to go in weekly cylces. One day I wake up and feel all positive about the job situation - especially when I have an interview scheduled. Then I slowly go into this down cycle where I start wondering if I even want this job. Then I go to the interview, get all excited because I would love this job, come out of the interview and realise I gave all the wrong answers - or rather was too darn honest, as usual - and spiral down just a little further.
Now I'm faced with a new day of job hunting, and so not feeling the vibe. The problem is that my self confidence spirals with my moods - or maybe it's just my frustration. Because I'm not really doubting my own abilities - just not understanding what I do so very wrong to not get a job. Then again - as was pointed out to me yesterday... I have only really been unemployed for a week. Never mind that I've been job hunting since October. Ugh.
At least I get to go to interviews. Not that it helps me anywhere. I guess it does tell me that what I really need to work on is my interviewee skills. I'm starting to think I just really need to learn how to LIE without going bright red at the same time. I'm too darn honest. Must do something about that. Any good tips?
All this was brought on by my interview yesterday. A super duper job that I applied for when a friend of mine who works there gave me the tip they wanted someone fluent in English. So far, you'd think I had it all going for me - skills and contacts. Then I get to the interview - which I thought went reasonably well. At least well enough for a second interview - when they tell me they're about to post a second round of ads (didn't find anyone on the first round) and after that I'd find out if I get a call back. Now, to me that's pretty much a, "hate to tell ya, but you're not gona cut it", just in different words. Never mind that I know I could do a great job. Guess maybe I wasn't pushy enough. I just never manage to get it just right. So MAD right now. Poop. I actually think I'm going to do the vacuuming rather than write applications right now. So MAD. Not often I prefer vacuuming to anything...
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Eventful Freedom
So, after celebrating our "graduation" on Wednesday, accepting our diplomas in a somewhat hungover state on Thursday and driving way too fast to get to an appointment in Jönköping on Friday, we spent a wonderful week end at the farm. Pasco got so much exercise in the sun today that he is now passed out in his bed. This does not often happen before our bed time. Yesterday both he and I got quite a good walk in too - but that was in the rain/snow coming down hard for the hour and a half we were out... soaking wet and cold. Not quite as nice.
Not much more to add other than that I have an interview on Wednesday. Would be SO nice to finally get that job... Other than that no plans really. Guess I'll be filling my days with applying for more jobs, working out and finally getting on with making my own home page like I've been planning for the past year or so. Think I might head for an early night tonight. Sweet dreams.
Not much more to add other than that I have an interview on Wednesday. Would be SO nice to finally get that job... Other than that no plans really. Guess I'll be filling my days with applying for more jobs, working out and finally getting on with making my own home page like I've been planning for the past year or so. Think I might head for an early night tonight. Sweet dreams.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Memories of the sun
Just to tempt you all, since I know that's something you all feel you've been missing - here are a few pics from our holiday in the sun. :)
The beach on Samoa Island.
A rooster fight modified for us - no sharp cutting tools were attached to the poor animals' feet. I literally felt sick. Glad it wasn't the real thing.
Some Dominican country side.
My sis. All summery and beachy-like.
Nicklas - looking all cool in his safari hat :)
The beach on Samoa Island.
A rooster fight modified for us - no sharp cutting tools were attached to the poor animals' feet. I literally felt sick. Glad it wasn't the real thing.
Some Dominican country side.
My sis. All summery and beachy-like.
Nicklas - looking all cool in his safari hat :)
By Me - About Me
So now that I'm in this whole hell of trying to find a new job - which I know I got myslef into all on my own - I have to write my own praise for a reference letter from Uson. And it is HARD!
I mean, here I am, thinking I've got it all together. I know me, what I'm good at, what I should be telling employers for them to love me. And yet - I find myself more critical of myself than ever before. Not a good thing. Not now. But it is so much easier to think well of yourself when you don't keep getting turned down from every job you interview for. Because then if feels like it's really my own fault. Then it's really me that's not good enough. Ugh. But the thing is I know I am good. I know I could kick most people's asses - until I read the ad that wants the perfect person with twenty years of experience all crammed into one. Then I start thinking the BAD, BAD words of - I'm not good enough. And it makes me so MAD!
The worst part is possibly that I'm starting to feel like I didn't do the right degree in school, that I should have gotten my masters in marketing that I was accepted for, and that I should have found something in life that I am so absolutely obsessed by that I just can't stop. However, truth is that none of this ever happened. I have a degree - a good one at that - just not good enough. And I've never been into just one thing. I like to keep an open mind - is that so bad? Is it really relevant for a future employer if I've done nothing but say, incessantly play soccer all my life? Should that really be the make it or break it of my carreer?? Because it's just not me. It never was. I've aways loved it all. I get bored if I do just one thing for too long. So I guess I have to try to turn that into something positive in all these seriously backward people's minds. I'll just have to wait and see if I succeed.
Maybe I should start putting up post-its all over the house with mantras like - "You are beautiful.", "You rock!", "You are creative!"... but then again that's just about as far from me as you're gona get. So maybe I'll just pull myself together and do what I know I can - kick som serious butt. Becuase I do rock. With or without any post-it notes. There - I think I'm finally in the right frame of mind to write that letter of recommendation now. Toodles! :)
I mean, here I am, thinking I've got it all together. I know me, what I'm good at, what I should be telling employers for them to love me. And yet - I find myself more critical of myself than ever before. Not a good thing. Not now. But it is so much easier to think well of yourself when you don't keep getting turned down from every job you interview for. Because then if feels like it's really my own fault. Then it's really me that's not good enough. Ugh. But the thing is I know I am good. I know I could kick most people's asses - until I read the ad that wants the perfect person with twenty years of experience all crammed into one. Then I start thinking the BAD, BAD words of - I'm not good enough. And it makes me so MAD!
The worst part is possibly that I'm starting to feel like I didn't do the right degree in school, that I should have gotten my masters in marketing that I was accepted for, and that I should have found something in life that I am so absolutely obsessed by that I just can't stop. However, truth is that none of this ever happened. I have a degree - a good one at that - just not good enough. And I've never been into just one thing. I like to keep an open mind - is that so bad? Is it really relevant for a future employer if I've done nothing but say, incessantly play soccer all my life? Should that really be the make it or break it of my carreer?? Because it's just not me. It never was. I've aways loved it all. I get bored if I do just one thing for too long. So I guess I have to try to turn that into something positive in all these seriously backward people's minds. I'll just have to wait and see if I succeed.
Maybe I should start putting up post-its all over the house with mantras like - "You are beautiful.", "You rock!", "You are creative!"... but then again that's just about as far from me as you're gona get. So maybe I'll just pull myself together and do what I know I can - kick som serious butt. Becuase I do rock. With or without any post-it notes. There - I think I'm finally in the right frame of mind to write that letter of recommendation now. Toodles! :)
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Back to the real life
So we're back. Been back for about a week already, but time flies, and so much to do! This week has been hectic. Good thing holiday was VERY relaxing :) Oh so much beach, sun and relaxing. Mmmm. Sad thing is my tan i alreayd fading. :( Really quite depressing.
The idea was that I would have this entire week to finish of my final project for school... but turns out that after spending Monday applying for jobs, and Tuesday running errands, I ended up at one interview on Wednesday, and the next on Thursday. This all meant I didn't really get going on the project until Friday... and am now feeling a little bit of pressure, and cannot seem to concentrate at all right now.
On the bright side I think the interviews went pretty well... but I'll find out if I'm right during the week if I'm called back to interview no 2 for either job. It would be OH so nice to know I had a job to go to next week or the week after. And if not, it's not like I won't have anything to do. Have a new web site to layout and make, keep applying for jobs, and probably do some work for my ex-job for a little cash.
To all of you I haven't spoken to - Happy new year! I hope you all have a great 2008. As for me, I'm thinking this year is all open. Everything new, bright and shiny. Will try to remember that for the dark grey days ahead before Spring comes. Will make sure to update with a few holiday pics shortly.
The idea was that I would have this entire week to finish of my final project for school... but turns out that after spending Monday applying for jobs, and Tuesday running errands, I ended up at one interview on Wednesday, and the next on Thursday. This all meant I didn't really get going on the project until Friday... and am now feeling a little bit of pressure, and cannot seem to concentrate at all right now.
On the bright side I think the interviews went pretty well... but I'll find out if I'm right during the week if I'm called back to interview no 2 for either job. It would be OH so nice to know I had a job to go to next week or the week after. And if not, it's not like I won't have anything to do. Have a new web site to layout and make, keep applying for jobs, and probably do some work for my ex-job for a little cash.
To all of you I haven't spoken to - Happy new year! I hope you all have a great 2008. As for me, I'm thinking this year is all open. Everything new, bright and shiny. Will try to remember that for the dark grey days ahead before Spring comes. Will make sure to update with a few holiday pics shortly.
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