By Me - About Me

So now that I'm in this whole hell of trying to find a new job - which I know I got myslef into all on my own - I have to write my own praise for a reference letter from Uson. And it is HARD!

I mean, here I am, thinking I've got it all together. I know me, what I'm good at, what I should be telling employers for them to love me. And yet - I find myself more critical of myself than ever before. Not a good thing. Not now. But it is so much easier to think well of yourself when you don't keep getting turned down from every job you interview for. Because then if feels like it's really my own fault. Then it's really me that's not good enough. Ugh. But the thing is I know I am good. I know I could kick most people's asses - until I read the ad that wants the perfect person with twenty years of experience all crammed into one. Then I start thinking the BAD, BAD words of - I'm not good enough. And it makes me so MAD!

The worst part is possibly that I'm starting to feel like I didn't do the right degree in school, that I should have gotten my masters in marketing that I was accepted for, and that I should have found something in life that I am so absolutely obsessed by that I just can't stop. However, truth is that none of this ever happened. I have a degree - a good one at that - just not good enough. And I've never been into just one thing. I like to keep an open mind - is that so bad? Is it really relevant for a future employer if I've done nothing but say, incessantly play soccer all my life? Should that really be the make it or break it of my carreer?? Because it's just not me. It never was. I've aways loved it all. I get bored if I do just one thing for too long. So I guess I have to try to turn that into something positive in all these seriously backward people's minds. I'll just have to wait and see if I succeed.

Maybe I should start putting up post-its all over the house with mantras like - "You are beautiful.", "You rock!", "You are creative!"... but then again that's just about as far from me as you're gona get. So maybe I'll just pull myself together and do what I know I can - kick som serious butt. Becuase I do rock. With or without any post-it notes. There - I think I'm finally in the right frame of mind to write that letter of recommendation now. Toodles! :)